@TheToddWilliams: I know it's International Women's Day but I'd like to give a shout out to all the national and local women as well.
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@AndrewNadeau0: HER: I think we should see other people. ME: *Looks around scared* Can…can you not see any of them?
@philmann: Crabs can't eat hotdogs because they just keep cutting them into tinier and tinier hotdogs.
@TheBoydP: Not to brag but I'm never late for work without a good reason. For example this week my boss is on vacation...
@TheHyyyype: WAITER: questions about the menu? ME: is it recycled paper? WAITER: no, i meant about what's on it ME: oh. what kind of ink is this?