@TurboJellyBean: I know Pluto isn't a planet you moron. Pluto's a dog.
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@thatdutchperson: I wish I had the exciting social life my mom must have envisioned when she used to stitch my name into my underwear.
@OreoSpeedwagon_: Note to self: hairspray does not kill spiders; it merely increases their strength and makes them look flawless all day.
@bobbiejo448: Someone please tell my mother she won't get a free iPod by clicking the links. She's convinced I just don't want to show her how to use it.
@Reverend_Scott: [job interview] Did you really think bringing a puppy with you to the interview would help you get the job? "Yes" WELL YOU'RE RIGHT.