@yonewt: I know someone who puts raisins in meatballs so don't even try to talk to me about psychos
@TrulyValued: HIPPO: I'm really heavy
ZIPPO: I'm a little lighter
@desi_princess: No thanks officer. I don't even give strange men my phone number, and you're asking for my license and registration.
@Robert_Beau: Shepherd's wife: You always seem so happy dear.
Shepherd: I got ewe babe.
@peteholmez: "I love all quilts, regardless of quality." - blanket statement
@Reverend_Scott: Wife: Have you seen my razor?
Me: [with only one eyebrow] I have not