@longwall26: I know this is only our second date, Susan, and maybe I'm moving too fast, but I'd like permission to rename your cat.
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@SondraDeeMe: When my boyfriend gives me a hug during an argument, it looks loving, but I'm just patting him down to make sure he's not wearing a wire.
@Shelts99: I may have hit rock bottom, but the upside of being down here, is I can see up all of your skirts. As you were.
@Swishergirl24: People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Teen: Your brows are on fleek! Me: (confused) Yeah well your FACE is on fleek. Teen: Thanks! Me: God damn it.