@WilliamAder: I know we're not supposed to say this, but our second black president looks just like our first black president to me.
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@corinnemlwsw: Every time I visit my parents, I send the kids in first so they can signal me if it's an intervention.
@senderblock23: No, I said I wanted to BING you on my kitchen counter. You know, the popular search engine?
@noogscorner: Our brain took two billion years to evolve. Two billion trips around the Sun. All so humans can use it to look at kittens on the Internet.
@That_Damn_Duck: *Watching YouTube videos* Boss: What are you watching? Me: .... Boss: ... Me: Church? Boss: That's a dog on a unicycle. Me: Praise The Lord!