@WilliamAder: I know we're not supposed to say this, but our second black president looks just like our first black president to me.
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@CulturedRuffian: Doughnuts alone won't fill the emptiness in your soul...you'll also need chocolate milk.
@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: Under special skills, you wrote you can be distant and vague? ME: *staring out the window* Idk, maybe.
@ManicMouse: CW: what did you do to your hair today? Me: It's really unclear whether you think it's good or you think I slept in a ditch.
@NewDadNotes: Justice League HQ Batman: -so they pay me 1 mil a yr Superman: 1.5 for me Aquaman: I'm paid in sand dollars Wonder Woman: you guys get paid?