@KiayaFaye: I know you seen me continuously push the "close doors" button while you ran to the elevator. Now it's just awkward
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@SadMeterologist: Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we're married & live together so I'd have to see them every day.
@SamuelHLowe: She invited me over for a romantic dinner and told me I was the dessert. I wanted ice cream.
@goldengateblond: Anyone who says cheetahs are the fastest land mammals hasn't seen me move a cat off an expensive area rug before he pukes.