@BlindChow: Hi, I'd like a salamus sandwich, please. "You mean salami?" No, just a single salamus. "Um ok, anything else on that?" Yes, one pepperonus.

@NotSoFastDiet: Getting that beach body is easy. You just have to know where to dig.

@: a:2:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"user";s:10:"tracy_marq";s:5:"image";s:59:"http://a0.twimg.com/profile_images/1959113727/cb_bigger.jpg";s:6:"id_str";s:17:"82926390600663040";s:7:"retweet";s:3:"281";s:5:"tweet";s:78:"If my dad were alive today he would say, "Tracy stop telling people I'm dead".";}s:7:"retweet";i:0;}

@better_off_dad: *calls out under the bed Me: Are you still there? Monster: Nope. Go to sleep.

@MorganJ7: Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't like things as much as I do.