@DeanOkay: I learned mathematical fractions from a drug dealer. He said if I don't pay $4,000 in 7 days, I'll lose 3 fingers.
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@Jinxy00: Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like BBs, rub one ball & everything moves.
@_Enanem_: I've written a musical called Fish. It's very similar to Cats, although Memory's a lot shorter.
@Hebafouad21: In our wedding, I'll invite his ex and be like "Still believe you can get him back?"
@Amusitr0n: *Cowboy stares at the horizon* "A storm's comin" [In the distance, Darude 'Sandstorm' can be heard faintly] *Cowboy cracks a glowstick*