@Papa_Mex: I learned that you transfer more germs shaking hands than kissing....It didn't take HR long to stop me from introducing myself to women...
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@InternetHippo: [genie emerges from his lamp] Master, what is thy— [he sees me on the bed pointing at the remote like 3ft away] Are u kidding me
@SteveSuckington: Note to future self: Tequila is a liar. You do not sound exactly like Axl Rose & the people at karaoke will not catch you if you stage dive