@DranoRaul: I learned two important lessons today. I can't remember the first lesson, but the second one is I have to start writing things down.
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@OfficialMizGin: Guy at the cake shop: So is this for a friend? Me: No, it’s for me. Apparently it’s weird that I’ve had 9 birthdays this year.
@iGreenMonk: I just hate when these girls take selfies on road specially when i am peeing in the background.
@TheToddWilliams: WAITER: Would you like some more bread? SWORD SWALLOWER: No, but could you get me another butter knife please.
@LoveNLunchmeat: My debate style is more like Teddy Roosevelt. I carry a big stick in one hand, a sword in the other, and wait for you to agree.