@tastefactory: I left a trail of rose petals leading to the bed and on the bed was a note that said "This is what happens to roses who cross me"
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@RxitWounds: POLICE! OPEN THE DOOR! What's the magic word? [Cut to them back at the station staring at a chalkboard with dozens of words crossed off]
@Mellicubed: My fire alarm just went off because I took my shower. Ya, I know I'm hot when I'm naked, but come on now, let's all just calm down.
@Coolisiana: (Mayday) PILOT: I didn't go thru 9 years of flight school to crash ME: *relieved* Thank G- P: I went through 0, so the crash will make sense