@SomthinBoutSara: I left my phone at home and had no idea what to do with my hands while I drove
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@jwoodham: Don't let people tell you that life after college is nothing but being poor and tired. It's 100% true, but it's more fun if it's a surprise.
@zachreinert03: Just saw a woman getting 'running lessons' with rubber bands & a head gear. Pffft, I could've taught her for free and with only a chainsaw
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Excited for the dance? 13yo: No, because you and mom will be there. Me: But I've been workin on my twerkin! 13yo: I need new parents.
@FannyB1tch: Was glancing through the Obituaries this morning and found it really creepy that all these people managed to die in alphabetical order.