@obviousplant_: I left some new office rules in the break room of an office I don’t work at...
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@maebemarbles: *holds flashlight under chin* "...and then the typo appears, AFTER you hit send!!" *everyone screams in horror*
@pmclellan: To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm making my house into an Italian restaurant.
@TheAlexNevil: Fortune Cookie: For healthy looking skin, don't get eaten by a bear.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: If I got arrested I'd ask for one tweet instead of a phone call because none of my friends answer their goddamn phones.
@Hormonella: "I love this song!" "This is my favorite song!" "I love this song!" "No, THIS is my favorite song!" ~ Me, listening to my own playlist
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