@obviousplant_: I left this letter from ‘Management’ on the doors of an apartment complex
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@duplicitron: Once at church I opened my eyes during prayer and saw Jesus riding around on a wolf making sure everyone’s eyes were closed.
@UnicornSyrup: "I decided I wanted to be a ninja so I googled "Ninja School", followed the link and the page could not be found. Well played, Ninja School"
@trevso_electric: When two girls hate each other, they say "we should DEFINITELY hang out" and then take turns shouting "definitely!" until one of them dies.