@Brentweets: I let an AT&T Customer Service Representative call me Brenda for a half hour because I was too embarrassed to correct him
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@Goofpoops: Hey!! pssst! Guys who wear camo to bars: There is a reason you're not getting laid...it's because the women can't see you..
@tigersgoroooar: Teeth are so weird. Imagine if all of our bones were exposed and we had to brush them.
@casual_koala: Don't get upset if you hit a lot of red lights on your way to work. You'd turn red too if you had to change in the middle of the street.
@kevinseccia: I realized I was maybe not the best listener when a friend had to come out to me twice.