@iinkedZombie: I let my 5 year old talk me into playing kickball-basketball, so now I've got to explain this bloody nose to my wife.
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@chuuew: Cop: Admit it! You killed that family Murderer: You can't prove anything... Cop: You know, you're actually called "Murderer" in this thing
@OrdinaryAlso: I wonder if serial killers ever leave their knives on the edge of the sink in case they may want to commit two murders.
@sirivan: There’s no problem you can’t solve with a great night of dancing. Except for a broken foot. Then you should see a doctor.
@ThisOneSayz: Boss: this project is moving along at a snail's pace!! *silence* Todd the snail: This is bullshit *spends 3hrs storming out of meeting*