@Chumpstring: I let people know that I'm no weirdo. I say "I'm no weirdo!" From that point forward, it's just a matter of keeping my mouth off their pets.
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@upsidedowntrash: WIFE: Hey why are all our potatoes dressed in tiny outfits and arranged in a little scene? ME: [hiding Photato Album] Why? Do you like it?
@KentWGraham: We’re looking for a place with a nice view of the sidewalk, a big garden to dig up and a soundproof basement for storms. –Dog House Hunters
@weismanjake: Strange that the people who make duck face in photos are the same ones who always refuse to eat bread