@HeidiCF8: I licked 8 lollipops and sealed them in ziplocs during my stomach flu if anyone needs to lose 5lbs by the weekend.
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@felixoshea: If Superman were a realtor, he could describe literally any apartment in the world as 'a stone's throw from the beach'.
@McSwtrvst: [True Love's gf on 7th day of Christmas, forcing smile] awww Swans! how sweet! thx hon, these 7 birds will go nicely with the other 16 birds
@GrumpyBahr: North Carolina just legalized same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
@joejwest: I'm going to freeze some of my sperm so that if something goes wrong later in life, I can kill my nemesis with a disgusting icicle.