@shutupmikeginn: I lied and told someone, "I can't go to your party I have diarrhea." I actually do have diarrhea but historically that hasn't stopped me
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@tastefactory: *ring ring* Hello? "If u want to see ur son again give me $500,000" OH GOD PLEASE DONT HURT HIM "I won't if u-" Haha gotcha, leave a message
@juneohara65: I'm just a girl. Standing in front of a girl. Wondering how she got her eyeliner on so perfectly.
@vapidaccount: It's really hard to be stealthy while carrying half a box of Tic Tacs. The more you know.