@shutupmikeginn: I lied and told someone, "I can't go to your party I have diarrhea." I actually do have diarrhea but historically that hasn't stopped me
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@lazerdoov: Dr. says I have an enlarged heart thanks doc I already know I'm super nice just trying to figure out why I can't breathe when I eat chips
@Brianhopecomedy: I probably should've said, "Congrats on your 4th child!" instead of "Halfway there, OctoMom".