@AndyAsAdjective: I lied. There was no crime. I just wanted to see how long it would take the police sketch artist to realize I was describing Patrick Swayze.
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@RandomAntics: Woman: Please send an ambulance, I'm having contradictions!! Operator: Ma'am, do you mean 'contractions'? Woman: Yes! No!
@notalogin: *Dentist's waiting room* *Trying to make conversation with other patient* So... I guess you have teeth, too?
@HairyJew4Life: Me: Wanna go out? Her: You're not Black Me: I'm Jewish. We've been persecuted more than them. Her: ... Me: That's not why you like them?