@AndyAsAdjective: I lied. There was no crime. I just wanted to see how long it would take the police sketch artist to realize I was describing Patrick Swayze.
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@MariyaAlexander: I can judge the goodness of my sex life by the loudness of the terrible music the neighbors are blasting
@dragnut: Per Wikipedia, there are two kinds of scorpions. One can sting and kill you like a spider, the other can sing and rock you like a hurricane
@Quartzjixler: We will require you to do something somewhat onerous and time-comsuming and then introduce impediments to completing it. - my employer