@goofyrice: I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
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@briancthayer: I've been jogging for 6 minutes & there are, literally, 9 vultures circling above me.
@SatansTongue: He told me he wants my heart "Sharon I'm pretty sure he's a serial killer" No way! *later on with guy* Wow you're really into bondage huh?
@Mikecanrant: *puts baby marshmallows on a porcupine* There you go little guy. Now you're bouncy.
@squirrel74wkgn: [at the pearly gates] I said, "send me a selfie." Then she said, "too ugly today." So I said, "never stopped you before" ...& here I am.