@goofyrice: I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
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@spikeWilton67: Relationship Status: Got put in the friend zone by a succubus playing around on a Ouija board. I can't even get lucky in the spirit world.
@WilliamAder: Can't wait for Daylight Saving Time to end this weekend so the clock in my car will have the correct time.
@Easy_Tiger__: If Kristen Stewart played the daughter in Taken, Liam Neeson would probably just let the bad guys have her.
@SardonicTart: How to beat depression: 1) Talk to someone 2) When that person says "just cheer up," beat that person with a baseball bat.