@simoncholland: I like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is.
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@mrtimlong: Every time I raise my arm a little, a falcon lands on it. It was super-cool at first, but now I'm starting to get annoyed.
@Papa_Mex: I call McDonald's to make a reservation for Valentine's Day, just to listen to the stammering and confusion from the kid answering the phone
@KentWGraham: After lengthy reflection, I’ve concluded that having kids wasn’t worth the seven times my son took out the garbage for me.
@clarkekant: I wish everyone would stop vaccinating their children. It’s really cutting down these lines at Disneyland!