@simoncholland: I like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is.
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@AdderallMomma: "I'll be black" the potato dramatically announced moments before going into Sarah Connor's freezer -The Termintator
@Shot_Of_Cabo: I'll never call a radio station because I'm afraid they'll give me tickets to go somewhere and do something.
@ComedicBust: Whenever I wear a suit I spend the entire time talking into my collar and sleeve, because if I’m going to be uncomfortable, I’m going to at least pretend to be a spy.