@Mikecanrant: I like having fun with strangers in elevators by slowly moving my finger towards the emergency stop button while maintaining eye contact.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mstern68: If you were my gf, I'd have a warm bath and a meal ready for when you got home every day Her: I'm your wife Like I said, if you were my gf
@onume_: The girl next to me is texting her friend about how there's an annoying guy looking at her phone, lemme show her which emojis to use.
@lwhit_the_boss: The government is so screwed up and dysfunctional, I'm amazed I haven't tried to date it yet
@dafloydsta: ME: Not gonna make it in today. I hurt my updog. BOSS: What's updog? ME: Nothing much, prolly just gonna take a nap.