@Mikecanrant: I like having fun with strangers in elevators by slowly moving my finger towards the emergency stop button while maintaining eye contact.
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@WilliamAder: If my wife ever hired a private detective to follow me, it would be to get pictures of me not using the coupons I said I used.
@TheBoydP: Top Five Accountant Taboos: 5. Unreconciled difference 4. Doesn't foot & crossfoot 3. No journal entry support 2. Cooking the books 1. Sex
@KeetPotato: [jungle book] bagheera: "you can't fight him like a wolf, you're NOT a wolf, fight him like a man" mowgli: [writes a strongly worded e-mail]
@lorigonzalez28: Pinterest could've been an amazing dating site. If the project ideas came with men to do them, there wouldn't be a single cat lady left.