@Mikecanrant: I like having fun with strangers in elevators by slowly moving my finger towards the emergency stop button while maintaining eye contact.
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@theNuzzy: After my tweet conversation with you, I delete everything I wrote so you look like a crazy stalker.
@wolfpupy: no matter what the government says no one can stop you from eating the bugs you find in your garden
@TheTweetOfGod: Celebrity dumping an ice bucket on himself to raise money? Cute. Humanity dumping an ice cap on itself to raise sea levels? HILARIOUS.
@HatfieldAnne: I used to wonder how anybody could possibly drop a cell phone in the toilet. Used to.