@DadandBuried: I like having multiple children because that way if one doesn't happen to be screaming there's always another around to pick up the slack.
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@TheHyyyype: [first day in prison] ME: so whatcha in for? HUGE CELLMATE [menacingly]: beating up nerds who ask too many questions ME: how many is too many? HUGE CELLMATE: one ME: oh no
@BuckyIsotope: *sits son down for the talk* You ready? “Yeah” Ok. When a man and a woman love each other- *pulls out Pokéball* -they throw this at a baby
@LurkAtHomeMom: When people say let's stop fighting and act like a family, that's where I get confused.