@taylortomlinson: I like horror movies because it's the only place insanely hot people are treated poorly
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@BradBroaddus: I don't always eat breakfast in my underwear but when I do, I get escorted out of Waffle House.
@heymonroe: Remember in 90's movies when the hot girl would enter a party in slow motion? That's what happens when I walk in a buffet.
@CoopSoSarc: I hung a horseshoe above the door for goodluck. My wife still came home. Superstitions are stupid.
@mrtruthandsoul: I just lifted a couch to retrieve a Skittle that fell underneath it, so I get you Moms that lift cars to rescue children, I get you.