@ShittyComedian: I like how all these people are acting like they've never seen a naked 37 year old man fight 3 security guards at a mall food court before.
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@Robert_Beau: So I harvested my tomato today, it's bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it.
@foursquids: Can't believe people still say "pot" it's not the 70s anymore we call it "saucepan" now
@Douchekevin: The problem was that everyone was poking my ex on Facebook. And in my bed And on my couch And in my car And when I was at work
@therealeatwood: KING ARTHUR: …and that is our noble quest. REPORTER: K, great. What shape is your table? A: Um, round? But that’s not really… R: Got it