@CtotheASS: "Here's your cup of Joe" - Joe at the sperm bank

@Sassafrantz: teen son: 'cause the boyz n the hood are always hard /u come talkin that trash we'll pull your card mom: take out the trash & mow the yard.

@Darlainky: Like most major sports injuries, almost all Rock, Paper, Scissors injuries occur because of insufficient stretching before the match.

@sirchutney: Just finished reading a book on Stockholm Syndrome. I really didn't like the first couple of chapters, but by the end I loved it.

@RobbieGramer: Trumps’ “VOICE” Hotline set up for people to report on crime from illegal aliens was reportedly overloaded with calls about space aliens