@dubstep4dads: i like how at this walmart they put baby food products in the checkout lane. like oops thats right i have a baby to feed
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@stevevsninjas: Me: Can you check my balance on this gift card? Cashier: ok Me: [ steps on card, lifts other foot without wavering ] Pretty good, right?
@KenJennings: TALKING TO MY DAUGHTER 7yo: I have an empty snail shell collection. Me: How many do you have? 7yo: Zero. Me: ZERO? 7yo: I said it was empty.
@mikefossey: (I get an amber alert for a missing child) OK its my time to shine (I get in my car and back out without looking and instantly hit the kid)
@Im_Tricia: I wish there was a way to tell if this guy is being nice to me because he likes me or if it's just because he's Canadian.