@dubstep4dads: i like how at this walmart they put baby food products in the checkout lane. like oops thats right i have a baby to feed
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@themcgillicutty: Wanna hear me read a receipt from a trip to the grocery store? That's how interested I am in listening to the details of your workout.
@Skullcat: When a big account that doesn't follow me stars me suddenly, I crouch down and stay still, hoping it will tiptoe up and eat from my hand.
@BackrowSeats: Take a deep breath. Good. Now count to 10. Right. Now slap someone in their face. Nice. Feel better?
@AlexRogaski: The difference between running and jogging is that runners compete in races and joggers find dead bodies on Law and Order