@ShesARealGenius: I like how Band-Aids come in 2 varieties: Stays on For a Second Before Falling Off or Needs WD-40 For Removal From Skin.
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@robfee: Slash: Ok whats Paradise City like? Izzy: Pretty girls? "Yeah!" Axl: Nice lawns! "Huh?" Axl: Green grass! "Grass is alw-" Axl: JUST WRITE IT
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I love Instagram's new direct messaging feature because I've always thought, "If only this picture of someone's dinner was just for me."
@trentistweeting: "Hey Iron Man, how'd you get your powers?" *flashes back to tony stark being bitten by a radioactive ironing board*