@sulkywhitegirl: I like how my autocorrect changes "hun" to "Hun," like I'm playfully referring to my girlfriends as barbarous 4th-century European nomads.
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@SuMacDan: Teens are leaving FB for Twitter & Instagram to escape parents. Silly rabbits, we were here first.
@imence2: In RL I'm a car salesman. Which means its my job to know how many bodies fit in the trunk of a car officer. This is all work related.
@timdonakowski: Want the secret to success? Want 2x the energy without having to diet? Want to add 20 years to your life? Want less shoulder hair? Me too.