@Sarcasticsapien: I like how people say pets love you unconditionally like if you didn't feed them and someone else did they wouldn't go to them immediately.
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@mellimelle: I spend 90% of my life trying to do the right thing and the other half wondering why I don't understand Math.
@bridger_w: If you're behind someone at an ATM at night, let them know you're not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
@LuvPug: The only thing more annoying than vegans who won't shut up about being vegan is people who aren't vegan who won't shut up about vegans