@kelkulus: I like how Subway sells "healthy footlong" sandwiches, as if anything is healthy when you're eating it by the foot.
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@U_Want_Shum_M8: Robber: Give me all your money.Otherwise you are chemistry! ME: Don't you mean history? R: Don't change the subject! *Both start laughing
@KenJennings: *Jesus comes into the house* Judas: Jesus, close the door! Were you born in a barn? *room gets super quiet* Judas: Uh right. I forgot. Sorry
@baseballchickie: First rule of being Italian is to tell everyone you're Italian. (I can say this cause I'm Italian.)