@kelkulus: I like how Subway sells "healthy footlong" sandwiches, as if anything is healthy when you're eating it by the foot.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Note to self: If using the sheet from my bed to be a ghost next Halloween, avoid parties with blacklights at all costs
@Parker_Simpson: I trust a woman ab as far as I can throw her. Very far. As far as she wants. I'll do anything plz come back to me *cries into pillow*
@FuckabillyRex: I probably wouldn't know what to do with my hands if you were murdering me, but there's a strong possibility I would hug you really tight.