@Sarcasticsapien: I like how when you pull down on a paper towel dispenser you either get half a paper towel or half the roll.
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@SadMeterologist: TRUTHFUL TUESDAY: When my son was 7 he pissed me off so badly I pressed all the elevator buttons knowing every new rider would blame him.
@carlyken: 9: Mom! Where's my Spiderman costume? I want to wear it to the science museum "In your closet, why?" 9: DUH. To attract radioactive spiders!
@FuckabillyRex: That feeling when you kinda wanna end it all but you're already in bed and your hara kiri sword is all the way across the room.