@Tetley6969: I like it when my kids are old enough to drink out of the toilet on their own. That way I don't have to get out of bed to get them a drink.
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@OakHill_: Me: *turns on game Wife: *turns on vacuum Me: *turns volume to max Wife: Me: Wife: Wife: *runs vacuum slowly in front of television
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: Why do robbers steal money? Me: So they can buy stuff. 4: Why don’t they just steal the stuff? She’s a criminal mastermind.