@Tetley6969: I like it when my kids are old enough to drink out of the toilet on their own. That way I don't have to get out of bed to get them a drink.
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@SveldtSmelt: I found where my mom hid the scissors, so everyone in my house woke up with a new haircut this morning.
@_CherriAnn_: My walk of shame is going back for a shopping cart after realizing I can't carry 23 items in my arms through the store.
@CornOnTheGoblin: Art Teacher: your drawings are due tomorrow me: [hours later] maybe add in some grapes police sketch artist: ..a bowl of fruit attacked you?
@BryMastas: Someday, I wish Twitter will come up with a new & useful feature for once, like a sarcasm indicator for the ones who never get it.