@Yankeegiant72: I like listening to Phil Collins in the shower. He gets creeped out when he sees me, though.
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@dragonsorbet: Cute girl: omg I love this bread [At the next table] Jesus: [loudly, holding up a slice of bread] so this is my body
@Sarcasticsapien: Coworker: Are you seeing anyone? Me: Unfortunately. CW: Then why are you dating her? Me: No, I meant you're standing in front of me.
@stockejock: WHAT DO WE WANT AMERICA? ROCK HARD ABS!!! WHEN DO WE WANT THEM? RIGHT AFTER WE FINISH THIS BOX OF DOUGHNUTS!!!
@XplodingUnicorn: Teacher: Fill out the parent form. Me: Why? Teacher: So I can contact you if your kid gets in trouble. Me: *writing* Raised. By. Wolves.