@dougbies: I like long, romantic walks away from women that try catching the bouquet at weddings
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@juskewitch: The most troubling examples of sexism, homophobia and racism that I've ever heard are things I've said driving on the New Jersey Turnpike.
@primawesome: Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us. We think we might be in love with your call. We made your call a mix tape.
@UncleDuke1969: *cocks gun* Me: "Go ahead." Horse: "Just be cool, man." Me: "DRINK." Horse: "No problem. It's just a stupid expression."
@CooIStepDad: "Son it's time we had the talk" "Cmon dad I know about se.." "Jet fuel can't melt steel beams" "What?" "It was an inside job"