@Underchilde: I like long walks on the beach and lying about being married.
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@GrrrRach: Operator: 999, emergency services. Which service do you require? Me: Oh! Don't mind me, I was just cleaning cake off the touch screen.
@michaelianblack: Got to admire these NFL players who are so committed to their jobs of beating the shit out of people that they do it even in their off time.
@Reverend_Scott: [Adam and Eve in bed] Adam, am I really the only girl for you? GOD EVE, YOU'RE LITERALLY THE ONLY GIRL ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH