@MunkMania: I like men in uniform, but sometimes it's hard to flirt when they're handcuffing me for menacing or rescuing me from another kitchen fire.
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@GloGurL: My trainer suggested I get a tennis ball to message my back. I got it, but it just sits there. How do you make it go?
@SirEviscerate: [Coca-Cola focus group 1892] *everyone screams, throwing chairs through the window, trying to kill God* CHEMIST: maybe slightly less cocaine
@Rollmaninoz: [enter password] *Correct* [your password is incorrect] Me: ahh that's right *incorrect* Login Successful
@simoncholland: 1st week of school: sandwich cut in a cute shape, sliced fruit, encouraging note. Last week of school: handful of croutons wrapped in foil.