@KattsDogma: I like my eggs like I like my nose: runny. Wait. That's not right. I like my eggs like I like my tigers: poached. Huh? No! I like my eggs li
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@hoeroins: someone just tweeted "do crabs think fish are flying" and i just know this is all i'll think about for the rest of the year
@CatherineLMK: Please continue finishing your text in the crosswalk, Mr. Pedestrian. It's not like I'm driving a giant metal instrument of death.
@roostermustache: Biden: this is takin forever and build-a-bear is gonna close soon Obama: joe let me finish my speech or you'll get no tv for a week Biden:
@SkunkFarts: The American flag should be a picture of a cheeseburger watching TV on a couch made of fries.