@KattsDogma: I like my eggs like I like my nose: runny. Wait. That's not right. I like my eggs like I like my tigers: poached. Huh? No! I like my eggs li
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@fuqtarded: On the street or subway you can only imagine what that idiot is thinking. On Twitter, you get to see what that idiot is thinking.
@thatUPSdude: Devil: I want your soul! Me: Not for sale! Devil: Name your price. Me: Fix all my typos. Devil: Too much work, keep your soul.
@_SetTheHook_: Worst thing about having sex with a Canadian girl is having to sit through BOTH of our national anthems before we start.
@Marlebean: Today, a man looked me right in the face & said "You're not hot!" Actually it was a cop &he said "Here's your ticket. Have a nice evening."