@sammyrhodes: I like my Facebook messages like my Fast & Furious movies: unseen.
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@PeteBlackburn: Biden: I wonder if I’ll still get free ice cream when I’m no longer VP Obama: Joe, we have bigger problems. Biden:
@envydatropic: My family was totally confused tonight because there's a candle lit that smells like a cake is baking without burning I don't do that
@Marlebean: *interrupts your heartfelt story* Oh NOW I hear your New York accent!! Say "dying wish" again! Ok now say "coffee"!
@SumReecesPieces: "I need to talk to you." Has the power to make you remember every single bad thing you've ever done. Ever.