@Marl_TheBean: I like my men like I like my books; easy to read and waiting for me in bed. ... And does the dishes. Ok this isn't working
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@KenTremendous: "Owen, you must hide this baby, at all costs, from Anakin Skywalker." "Okay. Should we continue to call him Luke Skywalker?" "Seems fine."
@Fred_Delicious: [g/friends dad] "who in your opinion is the greatest football player of all time?" Me - [say a real name say a real name] "Football Man"
@heatherlou_: My house is clean so please don't eat or drink or come by or let my child come home.
@theshantilly: "Ma'am, are you aware that you were going 92 in a 55? I'm gonna need you to step out of the car." "Um, I have a boyfriend."