@cogentanalysis: I like my men like I like my coffee: encouraging my bowel movements
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@Tmoney68: Apparently, it's "bad manners" to stare at a female coworker for 30 seconds, then ask if she's self-conscious about her hair.
@markleggett: I casually mentioned to my cat that I've petted many animals in my time, and she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said "How many?"
@KKBowls: I was riding a horse once and its leg broke, so I had to shoot it -- everyone on the carousel freaked out.