@cogentanalysis: I like my men like I like my coffee: encouraging my bowel movements
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@InsouciantMan: Any man can undress a woman with his eyes. Be different. Undress her with your nose.
@ThoughtOtter: Me at a wine tasting: *swirls glass* *sniffs* *sips slowly* *stares off into the distance* ...Ah, yes. This is in fact wine.
@meganamram: Sometimes I sit on my hand till it's numb so it feels like someone else is googling my name
@RexHuppke: "Let's take a couple dozen over-stimulated children and give them enough sugar to kill an elephant." - inventor of the birthday party