@adamallday: I like my meth labs like I like my girlfriends: highly unstable and locked in my basement.
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@SwanieChicken: Is it still a walk of shame if I'm leaving my own house? It ain't like I'm proud of what happened in there.
@KeetPotato: GF: "you're so childish" me: "it's my day too linda" [we sit in silence] wedding planner: "so is that a yes or a no on the bouncy castle?"
@shkeeber: Mom: Where're you going? Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends? Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...