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@craigdtull: I like my pizza like i like my square root of 64.
@birbigs: My biggest fear is getting a 200 page email that ends with "Thoughts?"
@abhorrent_wife: Sometimes I have my shit together, sometimes I eat an unidentified white substance out of my hair and am grateful when it's frosting.
@Death_Buddy: Optimus Prime: AUTOBOTS, ROLL OUT.
Me: *walks downstairs* where the hell is my toaster and microwave?
@NickBossRoss: A friend and I just decided that in 10 years if we aren't married we will tell each other what's honestly wrong about ourselves.
@samuelhlowe: Chasing a Pringles can down a slope is the closest I've ever been to hunting my own food.