@aspaul: I like my sentences like I like my women: awkward but with good colon usage and regular periods.
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@JediGigi: People whose TL is only quotes from famous people---You do realize you're not a desk calendar, right?
@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: you need a haircut ME: I do not WIFE: *whistles and a little bird pops up on top of my head, chirping* ME: shhhh, she just had babies
@RidiculousSheri: I was in a gang once. We wore blue, traveled in packs, and ruled our turf with shiny instruments...wait. Band. I was in the marching band.
@Dan_Haak: Me: *being hauled on a stretcher into an ambulance* Shotgun! EMT: dude your gonna die if you si- Driver: dammit Dave, he called shotgun