@TEXASVETERAN: I like my women how I like my government: open and unprotected.
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@underchilde: There’s a manual somewhere that warns against scorning women, but when has a man ever read one of those?
@KeetPotato: japanese chef: "we need a name for our sauce" me: "what about Keithyaki? haha" my friend Teri: "i have a much better idea"
@SwirlySkittles: Playing Tubular Bells to end the baptism wasn't quite the closing my aunt was looking for but in my defense it did clear out the church.
@GrantTanaka: wife: [talking & making baby noises at cat] me: you must be bored af wife: no I'm not me: I was talking to the cat