@FeelNutts: I like my women like I like my cigarettes, slowly killing me in packs of 20 or more
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@anylaurie16: Yesterday Bill Clinton called Hillary, “the ablest person I’ve ever worked with.” Well, I can see why he’s a hit with the ladies.
@simoncholland: Based on all the white smoke billowing out, I think my lawn mower just picked a new pope.
@ThisLocalHater: Him: Hey girl, what that mouth do? Me: Mostly complain. Sometimes binge eat. I also get these weird sores that - wait, where are you going?