@QueefTornado: I like my women like I like my golf scores, in the 80's with a slight handicap.
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@brianbowman73: We were watching The Discovery Channel on the couch. I was naked. She was afraid. I guess I should have probably introduced myself first.
@mrtruthandsoul: I can tell the way my kids inherited my sarcasm by the way I want to punch them in the face every time they use it.
@Lisabug74: Like prison, most don't learn the life of crime till locked up. Like twitter, I learned to creep into houses and quietly eat their cheese.