@DothTheDoth: I like my women like I like my woods: haunted & can kill me at any moment.
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@Book_Krazy: *A guide to 1st dates* Thanks for coming over. Let me give you the tour. This is my bedroom. The top drawer is yours. Where are you going?
@NickSwardson: Just got a residual check for 6 dollars for my scene in Almost Famous sooo...going to Vegas!!!!!!!!
@agathagotstoned: Barring any distractions, it only takes about three months to teach a meerkat how to throw knives.
@QwertyJones3: "What'd you do this weekend?" I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino?" *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.