@: I like my women like I like my woods: haunted & can kill me at any moment.
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@Steelers1972: You would be amazed how cheap lawn mowers are at Home Depot when you own a pickup truck and a orange apron.
@AngryRaccoon2: Me not wearing a bra is apparently a bat signal for anyone in the neighborhood who might need to come to my door for any reason .
@xLiserx: Ran into my ex on the street. He's got a hot wife & 2 kids. I have a taco in my hand. And one in my purse. And an emergency taco in my coat.
@Donna_McCoy: Once again the nurse sighs and writes "patient refused to step on scale" into my medical chart.